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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Remarrying After The Trauma Of Divorce

It becomes very hard to let go of the negative feelings and move on with life.


Most people lose faith in marriage forever, especially in cases of divorce due to infidelity or abuse. However, research indicates that approximately 75% of the divorced people tend to remarry within four years of their divorce. So, is remarrying after a divorce a good idea?

Remarrying After Divorce

Divorce can make people very bitter and depressed. Most people start having self-esteem issues because they tend to think that the divorce happened because they are less than adequate in some way or the other. There are others who feel that they do not deserve to be loved anymore. Such kind of negative thoughts can make a person’s life a living hell.

Everyone deserves to love someone and be loved, and life gives everyone a second chance. Then why not give marriage a second chance too? Most people end up becoming more mature after a divorce. Divorce is a time for introspection as well as for analysing your expectations from your relationships. Therefore, after a divorce, people are more likely to understand what they want from their future partner and what behavioural changes they need to bring about in themselves.

In fact, for some people divorce can be a very enlightening experience. As a result, such people have a higher chance of developing a successful relationship after a divorce. Remarrying after a divorce can be a healing experience because a person allows himself or herself to be happy again. This can be the most important part in the healing process because doing so restores a person’s faith in relationships and the person can let go of all the negative ill-feelings related to previous marriage much more easily than people who do not allow themselves to get into relationships after divorce.

How do You Find Mr/Miss Right?
Most people feel that they have been out of the dating scenario for so long that they have forgotten how to date! This is one of the major reasons why people shy away from seeing other people after divorce because they do not know what to say or do.

Self-esteem building is critical at this stage because having any doubts about yourself as a person can restrict you from being yourself with your dating partner. Most people feel most comfortable meeting someone through a friend or family. This is a good way to meet people because people who know you well have the ability to know what kind of people you can get along with.

There are several online dating portals and meeting someone through these portals is also a great way to meet people. In fact, some people feel more comfortable chatting with someone before meeting him or her to break the ice.

Chatting gives you a fair idea about the other person and is a good way to start the dating process so that you get comfortable with the idea of dating. While chatting online, you need not worry about how you look or the way you talk. This gives people more time to think what they really want to say, thereby resulting in more meaningful and honest relationships.

Dating Tips

Dating after divorce is a great way to get your life back on track. However, it can get a little tricky at times. Some people start dating while they are still in their grieving period. Therefore, they are not able to do justice to their new relationship because they do not know what they want out of a new relationship. While some people find it hard to be completely prepared to jump on the dating bandwagon, you need to be somewhat open to the idea in order for it to work. Having said that, we have a list of dating tips that you can use to avoid the common pitfalls.

  • Be Yourself

    Many people feel very uncomfortable on their first date because they do not how to react or what to say. Many times people try to please the other person so that he or she would like them better. While it is natural to be somewhat extra polite with a new person, you do not have to agree to everything that your date says or does. It is extremely important to be yourself. In the worst case, your date may not like you and it might just end the acquaintance at the first date. However, it is better than having conflicts later in your relationship. Do not pretend to be someone that you are not.


  • Do not Make Comparisons

    It is common for people to make comparisons between their date and their ex-wife or husband. You need to start afresh if you want your future relationships to be a success. You might not do justice to your date by constantly comparing him or her to your ex-wife or husband.


  • Do not Rush into Commitments

    Dating someone after your divorce does not necessarily mean that you have to get married to the first person that comes your way. Take time before making a serious commitment to your relationship.


  • Do not Repeat the Same Mistakes Again

    Your introspection period after divorce may have revealed some negative behavioural patterns about yourself. For example, maybe your short temper worsens relationship problems. Make sure that you do not repeat the same patterns in your new relationships.

1 comment:

my blog said...

Everyone need some companion at the end of the day and only lifepartner can be that companion.


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